Vacation To Do's

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In less than 3 weeks my husband and I will board a plane and fly south to catch a ship and sail around the Caribbean. We will be leaving the monkey here with his grandparents. In the old days I would wait until the day before a trip like this to pack, forget something important like a toothbrush, and drop some serious cash off at the airport to pick up forgotten essentials and in flight entertainment items (magazines, etc.). If I was super excited, I might buy a new outfit or spend 15 minutes in a tanning booth. (And yes, I still read paper magazines occasionally, when I'm feeling nostalgic and pretending I'm still young.)

This time it's just a bit different. My To Do List is unending, my anxiety maxed out. I'm leaving a physical piece of myself here. He will be separated from me for almost 9 days, the longest period of time we have ever been apart. I'm charged with providing for him while I'm away. I have to ensure he has plenty of food, adequate shelter and clothing, and the absolute best care. So my To Do List includes things like: (1) prepare meals; (2) do laundry; and (3) pack extra Sleep Sacks and binkies. But that's just the tip of the daunting iceberg.

There are some long term things to consider as well. They include: (1) have Trust documents drawn up; (2) review life insurance policies and make current, if not; and (3) print Letter of Authorization, Healthcare Directive, and Powers of Attorney (so that my son can receive emergency medical care without delay in my husband's and my absence). Yea! Vacation! It's just like planning a trip to Disney World with my family when I was a kid, and my biggest concern was packing my favorite toys! Just like that.

Am I being a little morbid? Maybe. But I have someone else's life and well being to consider now. Someone who is still helpless without me. (The "skills" he's developed include sticking his fingers in electrical outlets and chewing on coffee tables; not exactly ready to be released into the wild.) And I spent enough years in the field of estate planning to know how important these types of things can be. Lack of preparation makes tragic situations unmanageable. It can prolong the effects of the tragedy indefinitely, stalling the recovery for those left to face it (at best), or (at worst) making that recovery impossible.

The fear of somehow being separated from my child as he tries to figure this life out is paralyzing to me. The mere thought makes me feel like I'm drowning. Unfortunately, I have to think about it because the only thing worse than not being here for him would be leaving him a legacy of fear and uncertainty. Providing for him is specifically outlined in my new job description. No buts. No clauses. My job doesn't end if I happen to check out early. As he grows, he will know by his experience whether his parents provided for him for his lifetime, even if we are not physically present.

So my list for this trip is overwhelming. Completing it is emotional, taxing, and at times downright depressing. (The topic of mortality isn't exactly the most romantic way to begin a Baby-moon.) But in some ways it makes the whole experience more meaningful. I find myself cuddling with my son a little bit longer before bedtime, laughing more, and spending less time in the laundry room and more time playing on the floor, because I have been forced to consider the above.

Don't get me wrong. Being all serious and uptight about this stuff is not overshadowing the fact that I'M GOING ON VACATION!!! I'm very excited about getting away with my husband, and I plan to have the time of my life! And when I finally knock out all of the un-fun stuff on my list, I'll be focusing on the more familiar vacation to do's: (1) frequently apply self tanning lotion to avoid scaring fellow cruisers; (2) download favorite chick flicks and novels to iPhone (to avoid dropping serious cash at the airport); and (3) don't forget toothbrush (this time, for the love...)!