My Black Friday Crush

Black Friday is one of my favorite holidays. I'm really not sure why, because I rarely end up with any stellar deals. Oh sure. Last year I bought a copy of The Blind Side for $3.99 at 5:30 a.m. Was it worth it? You tell me. I saved at least $6, and all I had to do was get my uber pregnant arse to Target by 5 a.m. (I couldn't even have coffee, and the movie wasn't even on Blu Ray.)

So. Now that we've established I'm crazy (if we hadn't already done so in previous posts), allow me to defend my BF neurosis with a tiny bit of practicality. I do like being in the mall on the busiest shopping day of the year, when very few people are there, and in recent years I have accomplished quite a bit of Christmas shopping. Arguably, I would be able to find equal or better deals online in my pj's, but then I would feel like I would be missing the party (and there's a little more crazy for you). I've somehow turned it into a social experience in my head which makes no sense, because people tend to be a little bit cranky on Black Friday.

There's something else. Every year the KitchenAid Stand [alone] Mixer goes on sale (in various sizes, but my heart belongs to the 5 qt. model in Empire Red). It's the only time of year that I've found it discounted this much. It seems to be a yearly semi-big ticket item. Every year it reappears. Every year I long to bring it home with me along with all of my the other Christmas gifts and make it a part of my home and life forever. I envision beautiful recipes falling into place, while I drink wine and stare at my beautiful appliance. And every year I just let it go like the Boys of Summer. 

I love it, and I will always love it. I enjoy my one week infatuation, then move on. I tell myself, "I don't have a place to put it. Maybe I'll save up and get one next year (serious LMAO here for thinking I have that kind of discipline). I just can't justify the expense this time of year." The truth is I know it will be there for me to fall in love with all over again next year. I take it for granted, ultimately reject it, and it just keeps coming back for more. Sad. It could use a good lesson in how to play hard to get.

This year I will do the same, only I'm slightly less infatuated with it, distracted by things like my upcoming tropical vacation and toys for the monkey. Maybe someday I'll write a Christmas tragedy about our love that was never meant to be, because--after all--I don't have a place to put it. I can't justify the expense. And frankly, I think we all know I'd use it once, maybe twice a year. But for now, isn't it beautiful? *Sigh*

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Making Baby's Food

My son is beginning to transition over to table foods, but he's still eating mostly pureed foods and taking a bottle with each meal (just like his Mommy!). I make about 95% of what he eats. I feel better knowing exactly what's in it and how it was prepared, and I've used to sources to help me accomplish this seemingly monumental task (that really isn't monumental, but when I tell people they always give me that, "Wow! You're Super Woman!" look. I let them think that because correcting people is--after all--not very well mannered, is it?).

Notice a lack of baby here, which explains why the food
is still neatly in the dish and not all over the camera lens.

The first is The Baby & Toddler Cookbook: Fresh, Homemade Foods for a Healthy Start, by Karen Ansel, MS, RD, and Charity Ferreira. This book helped me establish a foundation for cooking for the monkey. It focuses mostly on the basics and boosted my confidence in my ability to prepare healthy meals.

The second source I use is Top 100 Baby Purees, by Annabel Karmel. It's filled with a wide variety of simple purees, and has been a good source for inspiring my creativity. (The poor kid can only eat so many pureed carrots before wanting to throw them in my face. At least this is how I imagine it, since I would readily throw them in someone's face, if I had to eat them every day.)

Yes, of course I always serve my infant from a plastic
Hobby Lobby tray, on formal china, by our bay window,
with a silver spoon and a vase of fresh basil sprigs! Don't you?

The process does require some planning, and here are a few steps that have helped me streamline the process a bit:

1. I block out time to steam and puree like foods (example: apples, pears, plums) back to back. For me it's just easier to keep everything organized and simple. (It also cuts down on the cleaning, because I convince myself that a good healthy rinse of everything between batches is sufficient. I'm pleased to report that to date no babies have been harmed in the production and/or ingestion of said food.) Since some foods are best prepared in the oven, I will also have something baking while I'm steaming other things.

2. I buy large quantities of fresh fruits and veggies, make several batches of each at one time, and freeze them, according to the directions in my first recommended source. Even though I live a life of luxury (snort!) staying at home with my son, I have one million and one other things to do besides cook for him all day (like play, blog, my nails, etc.). I like to spend a total of four hours in the kitchen in order to conquer the task for up to a month. It just makes me happy.

3. I keep plenty of ice trays available. This is only in theory. Truthfully, I always run out of ice trays, and my whole happy homemaker process comes to a screeching halt. But I'm advising you to have plenty of ice trays on hand, so you can keep the well-oiled baby food making machine well-oiled. Do as I say not as I do.

The process is easy, if a bit time consuming, but it's worth it to me most days. In addition to the advantages mentioned above, we have also realized a monetary savings of 40-50% (that's more than a few trips to Starbucks for Mommy!).

What are some ways you've found to cut the ginormous labor and financial costs of your little bundles of joy?

Vacation To Do's

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In less than 3 weeks my husband and I will board a plane and fly south to catch a ship and sail around the Caribbean. We will be leaving the monkey here with his grandparents. In the old days I would wait until the day before a trip like this to pack, forget something important like a toothbrush, and drop some serious cash off at the airport to pick up forgotten essentials and in flight entertainment items (magazines, etc.). If I was super excited, I might buy a new outfit or spend 15 minutes in a tanning booth. (And yes, I still read paper magazines occasionally, when I'm feeling nostalgic and pretending I'm still young.)

This time it's just a bit different. My To Do List is unending, my anxiety maxed out. I'm leaving a physical piece of myself here. He will be separated from me for almost 9 days, the longest period of time we have ever been apart. I'm charged with providing for him while I'm away. I have to ensure he has plenty of food, adequate shelter and clothing, and the absolute best care. So my To Do List includes things like: (1) prepare meals; (2) do laundry; and (3) pack extra Sleep Sacks and binkies. But that's just the tip of the daunting iceberg.

There are some long term things to consider as well. They include: (1) have Trust documents drawn up; (2) review life insurance policies and make current, if not; and (3) print Letter of Authorization, Healthcare Directive, and Powers of Attorney (so that my son can receive emergency medical care without delay in my husband's and my absence). Yea! Vacation! It's just like planning a trip to Disney World with my family when I was a kid, and my biggest concern was packing my favorite toys! Just like that.

Am I being a little morbid? Maybe. But I have someone else's life and well being to consider now. Someone who is still helpless without me. (The "skills" he's developed include sticking his fingers in electrical outlets and chewing on coffee tables; not exactly ready to be released into the wild.) And I spent enough years in the field of estate planning to know how important these types of things can be. Lack of preparation makes tragic situations unmanageable. It can prolong the effects of the tragedy indefinitely, stalling the recovery for those left to face it (at best), or (at worst) making that recovery impossible.

The fear of somehow being separated from my child as he tries to figure this life out is paralyzing to me. The mere thought makes me feel like I'm drowning. Unfortunately, I have to think about it because the only thing worse than not being here for him would be leaving him a legacy of fear and uncertainty. Providing for him is specifically outlined in my new job description. No buts. No clauses. My job doesn't end if I happen to check out early. As he grows, he will know by his experience whether his parents provided for him for his lifetime, even if we are not physically present.

So my list for this trip is overwhelming. Completing it is emotional, taxing, and at times downright depressing. (The topic of mortality isn't exactly the most romantic way to begin a Baby-moon.) But in some ways it makes the whole experience more meaningful. I find myself cuddling with my son a little bit longer before bedtime, laughing more, and spending less time in the laundry room and more time playing on the floor, because I have been forced to consider the above.

Don't get me wrong. Being all serious and uptight about this stuff is not overshadowing the fact that I'M GOING ON VACATION!!! I'm very excited about getting away with my husband, and I plan to have the time of my life! And when I finally knock out all of the un-fun stuff on my list, I'll be focusing on the more familiar vacation to do's: (1) frequently apply self tanning lotion to avoid scaring fellow cruisers; (2) download favorite chick flicks and novels to iPhone (to avoid dropping serious cash at the airport); and (3) don't forget toothbrush (this time, for the love...)!

The Spark is Back!

Yesterday was my baby's first Halloween. Well, if we're going to be technical, it was his second. But this was the first year I could put him in a monkey suit. And I did just that. We had so much fun visiting all the people who love and dote on him (which is pretty much everyone. Helloooo? See above!). The entire day of preparation it seemed to take, and the complete exhaustion at the end was totally worth those two hours of laughter and light.

Taking him to see grandparents, aunts and uncles, and friends, reminded me of my childhood, when my family would forego the traditional trick or treating to visit family and friends. We would drive all over town to show off that year's costume, and I was allowed to stay up 30 minutes past my bedtime even on a school night.

As I grew, there were fall festivals, parties, and haunted houses (although I'm a total wimp and didn't survive many of those). Halloween eventually became one of my favorite holidays...until the infiltration of slutty-ness (slutty nurses, slutty policewomen, even slutty Brownies and Girl Scouts. To me, the latter begs the question: Whose attention are we really trying to attract here?). I don't know if it was my age (the age of desperate single women trying to get laid) or what. But over the past 6 years I have tried to avoid all things Halloween because so much of it seemed to be...not my cup of tea.

But last night it all turned around, when I saw that sleepy little face wrapped in a monkey hood. We drove all over our small town to show off this year's costume, and he got to stay up a full hour (gasp!) past his bedtime. It's a simple tradition, but one I'm happy to pass onto my son. In years to come there will be trick or treating the neighborhood, parties, fall festivals, and maybe even haunted houses. But this year it was nice to start with the basics: family. And it's nice to rekindle my big kid love affair with Halloween.

Easy and Formerly Healthy Shepherd's Pie

Let's get one thing straight. I am virtually inept in the kitchen, when it comes to preparing family meals. I'm great with desserts, but that's only because (duh!) I have the incentive of eating them later. Meals are just sort of *eh* to me. But I do have a few things I enjoy cooking, one of which is Shepherd's Pie. I found a healthy, easy recipe a few years ago and tweaked it a little bit (added butter and heavy cream and removed some of the healthier ingredients) to make it my own. (Aside: when I claim I "make it my own," that really means I tried the recipe once and followed it to the letter. Loved it, but when I wanted to make it again, I somehow didn't get home from the store with all the suggested ingredients. So I used what I had. May have been sour cream, heavy cream, cottage cheese. Depends on the given day. Now do you believe me about being inept in the kitchen?) Here's how I do it:

Ingredients:
1-2 pounds of ground beef (1 serves 4)
1-2 large carrots, finally chopped
1/3 onion
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 tablespoon olive oil

21/2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 cup low sodium beef broth
1/2 teaspoon dried thyme leaves
salt & pepper for flavor (about 1/2 teaspoon of each)

6-8 large red potatoes (peeled and chopped)
(Disclaimer: I make mashed potatoes according to my mood. I suggest adding the butter, cream, and milk sparingly to avoid soupy potatoes. I just kind of assume most people have made mashed potatoes before, if I have.)
1/4 cup milk
1/4 cup heavy cream
1 tablespoon butter
salt & pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 450 degrees Fahrenheit.

Boil potatoes until tender. Drain and transfer to large mixing bowl. Add butter, milk, and heavy cream. Blend until creamy and smooth. (Add more butter and/or cream gradually to achieve desired texture.) Salt and pepper to taste. Set aside.

Saute' onion, garlic, and carrots in large skillet until soft (about 5 minutes). Add beef and cook until no pink remains (about 5-7 minutes longer). Drain excess grease, if necessary. Return mix to skillet, and add salt, pepper, and dried thyme leaves. Add flour and cook until no longer white. Immediately add broth. The mixture should begin to thicken. Simmer until excess liquid is cooked down.

Transfer mixture into appropriately sized casserole dish (about 3 quarts). Top with mashed potatoes. Bake until potatoes begin to brown a little on top, forming a light crust. Voila!

I made it the above way this week, and not only did I have excess mashed potatoes (yum!), but my husband and I actually ate it for dinner two nights in a row. We also fought viciously over the last two bites. It's probably my favorite fall/winter comfort food. It freezes well, so I will often make a double batch and freeze one for later.

What are your favorite fall dishes?

The New Me

My son is 9 months old today, and I'm stunned. Exhausted, taxed, burned out somedays, and stunned. There's a human in my life, that began his existence inside my body, and I have somehow kept him alive for approximately 18 months. Granted, biology deserves the credit for a good portion of that time, but still! I can't get my head around it.

Somedays I feel like I'm living a dream. Somedays it's more like a nightmare. Somedays I don't remember yesterday (or even 5 seconds ago) because raising a human being requires more brainpower than I have ever had. Yet this compulsive, neurotic, often self-sabbotaging 30 something has been trusted with this amazing, refreshing, quirky little life.

18 months ago I had my personal freedom and space, and control over my own body. I could pretty much go anywhere I wanted at any time. I was in the best physical shape of my life. I fit into my clothes, and they looked damn good. I was rarely puked on, and I had all kinds of beauty sleep. My boobs and butt were perkier; my crows feet: invisible. I could go to the bathroom when I needed to, without a plan for ensuring a child's safety while I stepped away. I could eat my meals when I wanted, and I could take as much time as needed to prepare them. They were hot. My meals. And so was I. 18 months ago I was a different person, someone I will never be again. But you know what? I didn't have this:

Quite frankly, I like the new me a lot better. Saggy parts and all.

I do not consider myself a food critic, except insofar as I will pass along a good word now and then about cuisine I have enjoyed and the places it can be found. The last time my husband and I were in Broken Arrow, OK we ate at Main Street Tavern . We love to support local businesses wherever we go, because we appreciate the entrepeneurial spirit and imagination. Besides, locally owned places just have more personality. It's just a great way to experience the people and culture of the area.

My hubs had just rolled into town and was needing a late dinner and a few minutes to unwind after a near miss at being involved in a 15 car pile-up on the highway. He found MST on Urban Spoon, and it was a great choice. The service was excellent, the food delicious. The atmosphere was clean and modern, yet inviting and unpretentious.

They serve locally raised beef (from Tulsa), so my husband's selection of the Meatloaf Sliders was spot on. They were delicious! (I might have had a bite or five.) We washed them down with the Made in Oklahoma beer flights, which were also quite tasty. The DNR, which--true to it's name--is 11% alcohol, was our favorite. (Go figure.) I had a slice of chocolate cake. (I had eaten dinner earlier; don't judge!) I have to admit it was so-so, but MST is quite obviously not a place that considers their desserts a specialty. It's their Oklahoma brews and locally raised beef that makes them stand out.

If you ever find yourself in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma, USA, stop by Main Street Tavern. It's a fun place to have a beer and catch up with friends. Here is a link to their Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/MainStreetTavernBA

I may be well mannered, but this is my Life!

I love etiquette. I really do. Even if I don't follow all the rules all the time. I truly believe that if we all treated one another with basic, common courtesy (which doesn't seem to be so common anymore), we would be well on our way to World Peace. I think a properly set table is a beautiful thing, but I would have to look it up on The Google to do it myself.  Emily Post had some wonderful ideas, but I am certainly no Emily Post. My life will never look like hers, unless her life looked like a washer and dryer covered in every article of clothing to be found in the house.

There's no funny story to go along with the picture above. It's simply what my life looks like post-baby: controlled chaos. Still I do my best to treat those around me with kindness, and knowing a thing or two about what's socially acceptable (etiquette) does help. It's a fun and practical hobby for me, especially in my new role of Domestic Goddess. Side Note: I don't like that others use their knowledge of etiquette to feel and act superior to those who simply don't have the same understanding of courtesy that they think they do. To me, etiquette is about following the "Golden Rule" in social situations, and about the bottom line in business situations. Knowing a few basic "rules" is useful in accomplishing both in all situations. 

My life will likely always look like this, but if you ever stop by for a visit, I will roll out my own version of the Red Carpet for you (if it's clean, and not in the washer or dryer, in which case I will roll out a baby quilt or fleece blanket), my guest.

A Good Omen

Throughout the day I noticed some changes in my 7 month old son. He seemed to be more determined, more animated, and just plain feisty. Tasks that were simple yesterday suddenly became  quite a challenge today. For example, yesterday I could change his outfit in just a couple of minutes. Today the task required several tries, because his new favorite game is taking his top off (gets that from his Dad, because I would never! wink-wink) as soon as I get it on. The experience was similar to both viewing and participating in the clown act at a circus. I thought he was just cranky because he's teething. Nope.

Tonight was epic. He refused to go to sleep. Flat out refused. I have never seen this defiant side of my sweet little baby boy, and quite frankly, I don't like it! I thought he would still be too young for this, but all day he's been throwing little fits and getting his poor little devious heart broken every time I try to take anything away from him. I suppose I could avoid this by letting him eat my dirty keys or chew on my iPhone, but I can't seem to find that under "Acceptable Parenting Techniques" in any of the fifty bazillion parenting books I have!

After he finally went to sleep--a full hour past his bedtime--I discovered a little piece of heaven in my stuffy kitchen cabinet (see above remnants). I think it's an omen that tomorrow will be a three pots of coffee and one bottle of vodka much better day.

My 9/11 Tribute

I wrote the following last night, as I reflected on the many emotions experienced by me and others I know on the tenth anniversary of 9/11/2001:

This day has been filled with love and laughter and the making of memories that will be cherished for a lifetime. This day marked the end of my husband's and my first weekend away from our son and our joyful reunion with him and other members of our family. This day has been a perfect fall day, great for the beginning of football season.

This day I have lived a life that was cut short for others ten years ago. I have made memories with my husband and son that others will not get to make with their loved ones this day.

Yes, I was deeply effected by 9/11/2001. I will never forget where I was or how I felt. Every detail of that day is etched into my memory, from the time my Mom called to check on me, right up to the time I fell asleep that night, after convincing myself the silence was a good thing. It meant I was safe. At least I had to believe that in order to sleep. We all lost something that day, and we are left with one day each year that means something different than it did 11 years ago.

We like round numbers in our society, and on this tenth anniversary of that atrocious, indelible day, I am celebrating life. No, I will never forget the horror, the fear, or the sadness. This day will always represent a turning point in my life. I am celebrating that life in honor of those who aren't here to celebrate; in honor of those who are still grieving for those they lost; and in honor of those who still shudder every time they hear the sound of a siren or another unrecognized loud noise. I am celebrating in honor of those who don't have the luxury of doing so, for whatever reason.

This day reminds me that I have a decade full of memories that others don't. I have a partner in life and a son, who is my joy. I knew neither of them ten years ago. There are countless families missing pieces of themselves, who were robbed of their joy and sense of security ten years ago. I can't restore that for them, and I cannot imagine what the last ten years have been like for them. But I can cherish my life as it is. I can be thankful for every moment I have with those I love.

The one thing I have to add today, 9/12/2011, is that I am reminded of the heart-wrenching reality that life always goes on. To me it is the most painful--albeit hopeful--realization of any loss. It may be forever altered, but life continues. Today I am still thinking of those who lost everything ten years ago. I wonder if the wounds of that painful realization were opened once again this morning as the sun shines, traffic jams, and people fall back into their normal routines. And I hope and pray for inner peace for those who have spent 1 decade and 1 day trying to find it again.

The Mommy Elephant in the Room

Seven months ago I became a full fledged member of the Mommy Sorority, after nine months of pledging. I have several friends who are current pledges (i.e., preggo), and they are the inspiration for what I'm about to do: I'm going to share some of the dirty little secrets about being a Mom that I wish someone would have shared with me; but I was left to discover on my own. I'm not referring to post partum depression or any other general topic. I want to share some specific, unexpected experiences I had after my son was born, with the goal of making another woman feel less alone if/when she experiences similar feelings.

(1.) After my initial recovery, and when I finally began to feel like leaving the house, I often felt overcome with a desire to run away. Yes, it sounds so simple and childish. But there were days when I was alone in my car and thought, "What I wouldn't give to keep driving for a couple of days just to clear my head!" The joy of being a parent is overwhelming, and it is more than worth the overwhelming sense of responsibility. But when you become a Mom (not a parent, but a Mom), your personal freedom takes a back seat. I disagree with those who claim that you no longer have any freedom. Not so. You are still an individual, but finding ways to let that individual out becomes a more taxing activity. And sometimes the prospect of leaving, if only for a few days, is incredibly tempting. I now believe that the women who simply stay are great mothers, even on the days we are absolutely falling apart.

(2.) Despite the above assertion that you will not completely lose your freedom or yourself, you may forget yourself for a while. Another adjustment I had to make was not only re-discovering my interests and the things that I need now more than ever to keep me sane; but also finding a way to work them into my new life. Prioritization has become more important now than it has ever been. The upside is that my time is also much more valuable to me than it has ever been, and life in general becomes less taken for granted.

Example: I went out of town with a couple of girlfriends for a weekend. I had a horrible sinus headache, and I had been sick for most of the week. Didn't matter. I had the time of my life! Yes, it required much more effort than I've ever exerted for "getting away," and we didn't do anything terribly exciting. But it is now one of my favorite memories!

For many weeks after giving birth all I wanted to do with my free time was sleep. Eventually I realized that I needed to work my way back into spending free time pursuing my individual interests. This is still a challenge for me. Oh, how I do adore those precious hours of elusive dreams! But caffeine is a helluva drug and my ticket to hanging onto the pieces of my identity that have taken a backseat since mommyhood became my primary occupation.

(3.) The period of adjustment seems like it will never end, and I can't promise that it does. I am continually surprised by the changes in my life and in my son. They don't necessarily happen every day. Sometimes they are a week at a time. My son will often sleep soundly through the night five days in a row, just long enough for me to believe he will do so forever. Not so! On the sixth night he will inevitably revert back to his old habits. Eventually we cycle back to a week or so of sleeping bliss, which seems to serve merely as a reprieve for the next big change on the horizon.

The adjustment may never end. I haven't been doing this long enough to know, but I will tell you that I am getting better at adjusting. I believe the initial shock of motherhood is most pronounced for those of us who cherish our space and our Franklin Covey planners. (Some people may call us "control freaks," but I prefer to think of myself as prepared.) So I've learned to let some things go, and more importantly, to apply today's energy and focus to things that are important today. When I start to lose that focus, I force myself to remember how utterly boring my life was before baby. I didn't realize it at the time, but now the pleasure of my son's company holds more entertainment value than an evening with Cirque du Soleil.

The bottom line is this: We all experience different things in different ways, and motherhood is no different. But I think it's important to be aware that we are not alone in this adventure. It's truly an amazing thing to be able to be a member of the Mommy Sorority! It's a place we can belong without conforming to someone else's standards.